Former Friends

A former friend has sold his house and may be moving to Atlanta soon. We saw his wife in Wendy’s one Saturday afternoon and we chatted a little and she gave us the news. Her husband and I had been close friends for many years, but no more. It’s been almost three years since we spoke. I’ve tried to make contact but after my last attempt last March, something changed. I do still regret that he is no longer my friend, but I don’t carry it around any more. We each have to make our own decisions. I do wish him and his family well.

Carolyn and Jane

The other night watching Persuasion, based on Jane Austen's novel, I thought again that Jane and Carolyn are right and I was wrong. The heroines in Jane's novels are consistently gracious- overlooking everyday slights and stupidities from their friends and family. For the first forty-or-so years of my life I didn't even begin to get it.

I thought that being gracious to dorks and idiots was all right for Carolyn (and Anne Elliot and Elizabeth Bennet), but not for me. "Tell it like it is," was my motto. Slights and stupidities were to be exposed, confronted, and corrected (even though it never seemed to work).

Because of my mild frustration that Carolyn took the same approach as Jane's heroines, I missed years of opportunities to learn from her, preferring I guess, to be offensive and somewhat stupid myself in those kinds of situations (I don't really remember what I was thinking).

I guess I was stuck in some developmental stage, or more likely just wasn't allowing God to change me in a way that I needed to change.

As it turns out, I was often the dork and the idiot but didn't know it. I guess this is what Jane means in her novels when she describes a wife as being able to "improve" her husband- some husbands are just more difficult to "improve" than others.

Faith at Work

The prayer group at work has become something remarkable- a bunch of Christians who are vastly different in every way you can imagine- personality, age, sex, church background, tastes, interests, jobs, family backgrounds, education- even nationalities. But it works...and it works in a wonderful way. It's not natural, in the sense that it's the bond and unity of Christ and the Spirit at work in us.

This get-together has been going on for awhile. I just wouldn't expect this kind of a crazy quilt of a group to hang together for long if it were just "us."

We read a short passage from scripture and discuss our personal perspectives. I am often encouraged, and sometimes even feel challenged. We pray for each other's concerns and families and our coworkers.

It's become a high point of my week. In some ways it's more "my church" than my church is "my church."

Annie

Tomorrow Carolyn and I are supposed to have lunch with an old Christian friend of hers from New York. Annie is supposed to take the train to New London in the morning where Carolyn will get her and we'll meet in Norwich for lunch. The last time we were supposed to do this something came up and the weather was wet and cloudy so Annie called early in the morning to postpone the trip.

They had been friends from before I had met Carolyn- went to the same church on 14th Street near the Village. Annie worked at Pfizer headquarters on 42nd Street and Carolyn was a nurse at NYU- both single working girls in the big city. They've kept in touch somewhat, but haven't seen much of each other over the years. But I'm glad to see Carolyn stay in touch with old friends, so I hope it works for tomorrow's visit.

Annie has attended a large Presbyterian church for years, but in the last year has started attending a Messianic Jewish Church on Long Island somewhere. We're interested in hearing more about why she's changing and what the MJC is all about.

Morning

This morning, the official first day of summer, I got up at 5 am to walk for an hour. I was out the door by 5:10 and walked for an hour, not seeing a single person but I did see one cottontail and some birds. The early morning is a beautiful time of day and comfortable for walking.

Looking at a couple of sparrows chasing each other around it struck me how amazing birds are and how they are such an example of God's creative power. We take the sparrows for granted, but what if there was only one bird in the world- wouldn't everyone be amazed at this creature that could fly! They'd come from all over the world to see it. But God has made himself known by what he has created and he has made his wonderful qualities known, also by what he has created.

We just need to take the time to look and see.

Girl Meets God

This is the title of a book by Lauren Winner (a funny name). It's interesting and it talks about converting to Christianity (from Judaism) in a non-churchy kind of way. This makes it kind of refreshing. It's interesting to see your faith through someone else's eyes and personality.

She also has a blog (it looks a lot like mine).

The Key

I'm learning that obedience to the commands of Christ, as his Spirit enables, is the key...to every aspect of the Christian life. If we aren't seeking to be obedient to his specific commands (not in order to earn salvation, but because we love him) then the Word is not dwelling richly in us.

As he said, if we don't obey him, we don't love him- could he have made it any clearer?

Am I loving my enemies? ..praying for them? ...lending to them without expecting to anything back? ...turning the other cheek?

In fact, perhaps the reason that we believers are having such a non-impact on the culture of the USA is that we pay lip service to obeying Christ and the Word, but don't really take it seriously.

He knew we would struggle with obedience but that's why he reiterated so many times that we must obey him.

Classical Guitar

Last November I got out my classical guitar and started practicing. I haven't practiced much (or played for that matter) since 1983. (This really makes me feel old when I realize how many years hasgone by since then.)

As soon as I realized that "it took" (in the sense that I really enjoyed it and wanted to continue doing it) I found myself losing track of time and staying closed in the bedroom with the guitar, Bach, and Mozart for an hour...or two...or more before I realized how much time was passing.

It is incredibly satisfying- to see progress in my playing, to solve the technical problems of playing challenging music, to be so occupied mentally that the worries and frustrations of the day just don't exist. It requires concentration and effort, but it is something that is relaxing and emotionally restful and also satisfying.

I have no interest in playing for others or performing, in fact that doesn’t even appeal to me. It’s just something I enjoy for myself.

I decided, after a while, to limit myself to thirty minutes of practice a day so as not to be an absentee husband and father. On even dates I focus on repertoire and on odd dates I focus on technical studies. Now that it's been about eight months my technique and skill are almost where they were when I put it aside many years ago.

Men's Lunch

Yesterday four of us from work went out for lunch at Hank's in Brooklyn- Benjamin, Jim, Keith, and me. We are all about the same age and we all are part of the prayer group that meets weekly at the college. It was a great time to discuss some aspects of our spiritual lives and our experiences as fathers, and as sons. We are different in some ways and we come from a variety of church backgrounds, but none of this was a hindrance in any way at all. It was encouraging and a lot of fun.

Alpha

Last Tuesday was the second session of the Alpha program that is being offered at our church. I'm assisting as a "helper." I was impressed that several of the folks participated in the discussion of spiritual topics in a fairly personal way. I think it's going to be an excellent group and an excellent experience. Too bad that there's not more men in the group.

Red Sox 9, Yankees 3

Last night Christopher and I went to my mother's house to watch the Red Sox play the Yankees. The results were very satisfactory. Curt Schilling gave up home runs, but basically shut the Yankees down.