A Note from a Friend, Worth Sharing

Dear brothers and sisters in Christ, Thank you so much for your prayers. Despite all warnings and against all odds R and D are now husband and wife as of yesterday afternoon. But God was with us and his peace that passes all understanding was and is with us through it all. We now turn this corner in life and view the road ahead in a new light and a new hope: the light of God's Word concerning marriage and the hope that R and D will follow in the way of the cross, forsake selfish ambitions so that they may have a successful marriage. I felt the Lord gave me the following to share at the reception: Thank you all for coming today to support D, R and their families. Iwould like to take this opportunity to challenge D, R, family, and friends to share in a common commitment to make this marriage work.

R, The Bible instructs you in Ephesians 5:22 to be subject to your husband. The last verse of the chapter summarizes what's behind the previous words in stating that you are to respect your husband. Understand that it does not tell you to respect him when he earns the respect. Youmust humble yourself to respect him when he's being a jerk. Of course, all of us can be jerks now and again, can't we men? Respect doesn't mean you ignore his faults, either. Speak the truth in love, pray for him, and leave it at that. Do not think that you can change D. None of us has the ability to change another person. We can only be changed as we allow God to change us.

D, The chapter in Ephesians that instructs wives to be subject to their husbands goes on to make an awesome statement. Eph. 5:25. D, you are tolove R as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. Your desires are not of primary importance any more. You are giving yourself up for R. R's desires are also not of primary importance. Christdid not give Himself up to fulfill the church's desires; He gave Himself up to fulfill the Father's desires for the church. That which was best for the church was that Christ should go to the cross. What is best for R is that you be crucified with Christ. You must make certain that R maintains her relationship with God. This means you must make certain that both of you are in the Word and prayer, that you are in fellowship with other believers, and that you are obedient and faithful to that which God calls you to. You also must insure that R is provided for physically. Don't think that you have the right to quit just because of pain and grief. You have a responsibility from God. You are giving yourself up for her. It's time to take life seriously and soberly. Your life is primarily made up of building treasure in heaven, not in entertaining yourselves or accumulating pleasures here on earth.

R and D, You are about to embark on a very rough journey. Others far more physically, mentally, and spiritually prepared than you have taken this roadand failed. I want you to know that from here on out, you will not hear failure from us and if there are problems, you will also not hear us say we told you so. Beginning today, we want you to succeed and that means we want you to become all that God has designed you to be. Let me make this clear,you cannot succeed, unless you let go and let God have His way in yourlives, but you cannot fail if you do. For this to happen, it will take forgiveness, repentance, and commitment. Forgiveness in that you will needto release harbored resentments toward others and in some cases outrightforgive them face to face. Repentance in that you must turn from your sins and again, in some cases bring the fruit of repentance asking others for forgiveness or even making reparations. Commitment means that this day you have made a covenant before God and man that you are forsaking all others, committing to God and to each other until do you part.

And to the rest of us, Let us commit this day to God's idea of marriage: one man, one woman, for life. If D or R were to come to you with their troubles,don't take sides, encourage them to work it out together and pray with them. If you observe trouble brewing, don't gossip and backbite, go the biblical route. Go to the source and speak and pray with them. Encourage them toget the help they need. Point them in the right direction. Hold them accountable. With God's help this marriage can work. Let's give D and R the opportunity and support they need to make it work.